Every tear drop is a waterfall

Two days after STPM.
Today I am going to tidy up my room and keep all my books inside a box.
My sister falls sick again. My parents brought her to the doctor.
And I am HOME ALONE. Again.
I woke up at 7.30am, hang clothes, watch TV, played piano for 15 minutes maybe?
Then I am here in front of the computer and blog.

I just downloaded a song called “Every tear drop is a waterfall” by Coldplay.
After listening to this song my holiday mood came back for awhile.
Honestly I don’t understand what they are singing when I heard this song for the very first time.
But I like the rhythm and beat.
I like Chinese songs, English song and some Japanese songs too but not Korean song.
Just don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I am jealous of their good-looking face?

Part of the lyric of the song is here:
“I turn the music up,
I got my records on.
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song.
Don't want to see another generation drop.
I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop.”

The last sentence impresses me.
Form 6 is a comma for me. =)

Another part is here.
“As we saw, oh this light
I swear you emerge blinking into
To tell me it's alright
As we soar walls
Every siren is a symphony
And every tears a waterfall.”

I become quite optimistic after listening to this part, especially when I sang with the music out of tune.
Luckily there’s no one in the house now.
“As we SSSSAAAWWW……OOOOWWHHHH this light.”
I feel satisfied at that particular moment. XD

At the last part,
“So you can hurt, hurt me bad
but still I'll raise the flag.”
Don’t worry. Currently there is no one is hurting me.
Just in case when I get hurt in future which is unlikely to happen? XD

Holiday!

I saw one of my friend’s blog. OMG, it looks so nice!
Nice drawing. Nice blog skin.
Out of boredom I am going to blog something.

Hey! STPM is history for me now.
No more books. No more study. No more Co-co activities. No more study. =)
But too bad at the same time,
No more schooling. No more chitchatting. =((
*PS: I miss the chitchatting session the most.*

Time flies so fast. One and a half year of Form 6 life is over.
And unfortunately I already start missing form 6 just after only one day!
And I still have a few months to pass.
STPM is over and yet no one asks me for outing. =(

Feel like doing something meaningful. But I can’t think of any.
I hate the feeling when I don’t use my brain for a long time,
But I hate the feeling when I “over think” and get emotional MORE!
The only I sooth myself is telling myself that
“Unlike mathematics, there’s always something that you can never solve in your life.”
It might sound a bit passive,
But that’s what I have to or forced to in other words,
This is so that I can get rid of the feel of guilt in the past.
And move on. Warh. Why suddenly I sound so emotional?

Now I start to have some inspirations. Hehe.

I want to go for mountain climbing. Any mountain will do.
It usually will calm my heart down. And my brain will feel extremely fresh.
I feel protected walking inside a mountain.
And I feel like being hugged by someone. Maybe it’s Mountain god?
And I feel like I can tell all the wrong things that I did last time.
And she will definitely listen and forgive me by keeping quiet.

I want to have a nap lying on a field. Any field will do.
If I am an element of group one and stress are valence electrons,
Then the field would provide me enough first ionization energy to ionize and oxidized spontaneously into a free uni-positively charged “Choky” ion
Move randomly in aqueous form.

A trip! Anywhere will do.
I don’t want to stay at home.
At home, “Choky” ion will be in lattice structure and unable to be a charge carrier.
I won’t let this happen!
I will pray so that someone would plan a trip and ask me to go.

I want to watch a movie with lots of actions, a comedy movie and a movie that able to make me cry. (I know there is a lot out there.)

All I have now is plan. But I need activation energy. Keke.

Old Time Story.

Old time story.

My grandma passed away.
It was a morning when I was forced to go Kepong Baru pasar with my mum.
Soon we got a call saying that grandma just passed away.
Shocked. Went to school to mohon cuti.
4 hours to Penang.
When I reached there, there was coffin with my grandma inside.
They applied face make up on her. Now, still, I don't like it.
They should let us to see her face, a face we are familiar to look at.
Which enables us to recall what she did for us last time.
During our journey back to Penang, my parents told my sister and me something I just can't forget.
"Don't cry later. So that she can go for another journey of life peacefully. Somewhere she will live a better life. Don't leave her any regret or worries."
Soon they had a session like reading letter they wrote to show their gratitude towards her.
That was disaster for my family. The content was about her dedication to the family.
Almost everyone cried. But my family and I tahan our tears so hard. Luckily we managed to do so.
That night I cried. Silently. Without being noticed.
Reminds me of her smile when we reach Penang for Chinese New Year festival. Accepting Ang Pou from her hands. And before we go back, she will give us some sweets and biscuits to eat.
Had a very special feeling. My subconscious just don't remember that she passed away.
Having many questions. Where did she go? Where's my ah ma?
I am not very close to my ah ma. But why am I having a sad feeling?
Just so strange.
Now I accepted. She has to rest. She is now heading towards another part of her life.
She needs to move on.
She did so much for us and what we should do now is give our sincere blessing to her.
May you live well. Thank you for your contribution.

下辈子，无论爱与不爱，都不会再见。