Emotional bom

It is a question paper with a lot questions, or should I say a question paper with problems? 

I think it is a question paper with a lot of problematic questions. 

Out of 6 questions in the paper, 

One of it forgot to put the parameter. One more forgot to put the capacitor value. 

One more, there is no question for first part. Couldn't imagine, huh? 

There are so many things to study for first half of the subject, 

and yet first 3 questions of exam paper are based on the 

one chapter, 

one concept of that chapter, 

same circuit diagrams of that concept, 

and incredibly same circuit with almost same parameters!

What if someone studied everything but accidentally missed out that part while studying? 

Could you be more considerate de mah? 

I could just memorize that part and forget the rest and yet SCORE! Since when exams sounds like gambling ah?

One more thing ah, there are so many students asked you on those same problems on those problematic questions. Why couldn't you go announce it to everyone? 

People ask you then only you tell? 

What if they didn't ask you even though they know there is something wrong? Just let it be?

Owh I guess one reason you didn't announce is 

you will have to walk up the stage, announce, walk down the stage, 

then walk up the stage again, announce again, walk down the stage again, 

then again walk up the stage again, again announce again, again walk down the stage again, 

then again walk up the stage again and again, again announce again and again, again walk down the stage again and again. 

And I did a really really silly mistake! I didn't read the questions properly and miss out some score. 2 questions of same type. So identical ah!  

And I actually know to do it! Just a few minutes more! 粗心!

Due to my mistake, I got a little bit emotional. And that's why I expressed it here. 

If I did well for this, I won't be posting this at all. I won't even care. 

Aish! WHAT I'M THINKING?  

 I was so frustrated. I am not a very good student, I am out of time to answer the questions, yet I had to raise hand to ask not once, not twice, not thrice but more. 

Glad killer exam is over. 

Okay. I won't be talking about it unless someone raise this topic. 

What is passed is passed. Now I will smile and strive for the next exam. :) 

Go listen to this song. Bom Bom Bom by Roy Kim. Good song by a handsome. Warh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3-BDy55tq4&list=RDqwHnHYPdSQI

Machine without any extra part.

Now I have quite a lot of free time and I watched a movie named "Hugo". My pro-in-watching-movies roommate recommended it. AND yes, it is really a nice movie and it deserves the Oscar! 

First of all, it has very nice scenes of Paris and Paris is so beautiful in the movie. Aww! 

There are some funny parts by actor Sacha-Baron. If you watch "The dictator" before, then you will know how funny he can be in the movie. Be careful that movie can be rude and there is one 2s scene where you will see his genital. Not sure whether is his LOL. Just be careful! 

Besides that, the actor is leng zai and actress is very leng lui! As usual, I googled all the actors and actress, I found the actress is also acting in "Carrie". 

Remember the face of leng zai and leng lui. Then compare with the next one. 

Owh man! *heartbreak* :P

One of the very romantic scene: The boy and the girl were looking at Paris from the clock tower. 

And the boy said to her : " I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too. " 

I will fall in love with that boy at that moment if I were that girl. Haha. 

Okay, another topic. Last time I read an article saying that we should write 20 things to be grateful everyday and smiling to yourself through mirror. The author said this will make us feel happy and have a great start of your day. 

Hmm, to kill some time, let's skip the smiling part and write that 20 things. 

1. I woke up naturally today morning at 9.30 a.m, without any alarm. 

    I like the feel when I don't have worry did I put my alarm on and just switch off my handphone. Hehe. 

2. I got no more test but I have a mini project now. :)

3. I just had Nestum + Horlick for my breakfast. Grateful it's nice and I am full at least for now. 

4. After my sleep for 7 hours +, I am grateful that I actually feel healthy and energized!
Prove : I am writing my blog now and I don't feel tired at all! 

5. I joined a workshop which was originally held for 2 days. 
But I finished everything yesterday and I don't have to attend today! 

6. I am grateful that I still have my dad, my mum and my sister alive on this world. 

7. I am not sure whether I have any great enemies, but I am sure that I have good, nice, loyal friends! 
And I am not alone on this world! 

8. I am grateful that I have a brain that functions properly, whereby I can still write, type, think, understand,            communicate, breath, walk, ride my beloved bicycle to school, eat, digest and more and more! See, how            great my brain is! ;) 

9. Nibong Tebal is in peace and there's no war in Malaysia. We don't have to fight against communist! 

10. I am grateful that year 2012 is not the end of the world. I am still alive and entered USM! 

Clearly I am out of ideas when I wrote the last two points. Let's make it ten for the first try! 

对吗？

最近接近放假的时候，一些洋名叫作 "Test" 和 "Assignment" 的怪兽会来搞怪。正盘算着如何计划时间去读 Analog 和 Complex 的时候，突然被告知延后到假期以后了。

当下的我读书的念头立马不见，脑子开始幻想假期时该做些什么。你暂且别说我有着短浅的目光，只看到眼前的快乐。虽然是先甜后苦，但我选择享受现前的轻松日子，再慢慢去读我的书，考我的试。这叫做 "活在当下" 吗？呵呵。

昨天和今天，看了一大堆的电影和喜剧。看了一些人家说很好看的电影，又看了真的很好笑的喜剧。在房间里，看喜剧的时候对着电脑笑，看伤心电影对着电脑悲伤。

看了 "被偷走的那五年" ，形式上是五年，感觉上被偷走的不只五年。
这个戏，一下快乐一下伤心。
刚开始是一位女人还停留在五年前的蜜月回忆，但其实已经离婚了。
之后爱火重燃，他们又再一起了，但女主角却痴呆了。

等着快乐来的时候，以为快乐的部分就快来了，
女主角动手术的时候，以为结局会是她奇迹般的复原，结果是她瘫痪了。 
最后男主角答应会好好的活着，然后让她走了。充满了不舍的一幕。

其实，她选择了动手术，对吗？

是啊，她可能活在过去，但至少可以尽量的配合她。
是啊，你可能需要担心着她，但至少你愿意一直盯着她。
是啊，你可能觉得照顾得辛苦，但至少你很快乐。
是啊，你心爱的人遗忘了你，但至少她还好好的活着。
是啊，你真的走了，但他真的能如他答应的那样，好好的活着吗？

但是，她选择不顾一切，豁出去试试，难道就错了？

他如她所愿让她走了，对吗？ 
经过了分分合合，他和她不停的挣扎。
在生死之前，再怎么垂死挣扎，还是没办法。

月亮圆圆

今天是中秋节，我在跟我妈讲电话的时候，正好我爸打电话给我。于是我就把妈的电话挂了，先接我爸的电话，过后再打回给我妈。然而电话中主要是我在说话，不时会听到他擦鼻涕的声音。

或许他真的伤风了吧。但我也做了一点心理准备。

说着说着，快要结束之前，我爸突然问我∶“栋，你看到月亮吗？”

我心直口快地说∶“啊？我看不到噢。”

他回说∶“我这里，月亮很圆。”，突然说不去话了，然后互说一声拜拜后就挂了电话。

是呀，月亮是很圆，但也是很远。换个角度吧！很远的月亮，真的很圆。:)

过了好久，才能冷静地回个电话给我妈。

我有个那么柔情的爸爸，潇洒不到勒！:P

X changing?

I said wrong things few days ago.

I was irresponsible long time ago. Now, am I still acting the way like I did ?

It's two different things coming at the same time. 

Perhaps I am the one who get over-sensitive recently. :(

燕子与我家邻居的故事

几乎整个假期，我都在家里闷着。之前还有蛮多计划的，怎知一个也没进行到。

我突然觉得大学的假期分配得不够均匀。在大学里就拼命想要放个假，可以回个家；一放假就一下放两个月，待在家里闷得发慌。之前对家日思恋夜思恋的我，现在却在家里如此挥霍着假期。心情真的有够矛盾的。

不如说个燕子与我家邻居的故事吧！

有一对燕子夫妻也偶然飞到我家。它们看中我家风水不错加上环境幽静，就在我家柱子筑起了窝，当起了邻居。

最先知道燕子大驾光临的是我妈，因为她不喜欢它们这对夫妇随意拉屎，把地上一处撒得满满一堆的，我也觉得它们没礼貌。我妈还说∶“他们很厉害叻，睡觉时尾巴还是在窝外面，不是朝窝内。这样窝里很干净，但外面炸弹炸得满地都是。”每次我妈洗地到了那一区，无可奈何就只好特别加强一下。

数年前的某一天，我家邻居搬了进来。他们一家四口主要是做些小生意的。以男生的眼光嘛，那两位女儿外表蛮漂亮的，经常化浓妆出门。最可怕的是，两个女儿的妈，没化妆竟然还比她们更漂亮。我是说真的，所以没想到后面会发生那么一回事。

刚开始他们养两只狗，其中一只是Rottweiler，把我们都吓傻了。心想如果它一口咬我的手臂，手臂若是没断，想必我也一命呜呼了。直到我们用面包贿赂了它，只要我们手持面包喊一声“Sit! " ，它经常乖乖坐在那里，目不转睛猛盯着面包。那时它超可爱的，后来我还经常把手臂伸过篱笆sayang sayang一下，好想念它。每次迎接他们回家的不只是两只狗，还有一大堆“黄金”。风吹进家里，都有一阵阵恶臭。臭死啦！

我家同时迎来了两个，都很不卫生的邻居。

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燕子夫妇呢，他们生了三粒蛋，后来孵出来的三个小瓜经常会在有人经过的时候，唧唧唧叫个不停。一大早就飞出去觅食，打点一家五口的三餐。两夫妇每天飞进飞出为了就是满足雏鸟与日俱增的胃口。到了傍晚，两夫妻就停歇在我家篱笆聊聊天，谈谈心事，恩爱的很。燕子老公不时会说些甜言蜜语，有时听得我不禁起鸡皮疙瘩，但却如此令人称羡。

小瓜们，一日一日长大。从燕子妈妈把三粒蛋，孵成三只小鸟；从只会唧唧叫，到慢慢长出羽毛期待有那么一天学会如何在蓝天里飞翔；从前雏鸟都喜爱温暖的家，到后来恨不得飞出去闯天下。直到有一天，小鸟翅膀长硬了，展翅飞了出去，头也不回的离家而去。那天，燕子妈妈虽然已知会有那一天会这样，但还是因为孩子们的不告而别而哭了。

傍晚时分原本两只燕子在篱笆上的身影，不知道什么时候只剩下一只，显得特孤单。后来剩下的那只也离开，到外头觅属于自己的另一个春。

因为做生意的关系，所以邻居他们一家经常迟出晚归，不到半夜一两点是不回家的。我鲜少看到他们一家的面孔。邻居大女儿通常在外，一家三口经常都是坐一辆车出去，然后半夜又是一辆车回来。后来小女儿中五毕业后，也很少像我这个宅男一样呆在家里，往往都是在外头四处走，四处闯。哎，不要看我一直只说邻家女儿，我的重点是邻居孩子们慢慢都离开了这个家。听我妈说，大女儿嫁人了而小女儿飞到了澳门工作。

女儿离开了，夫妻经常都是各自出门，各自回家。在大学读书的时候，跟妈通电话的时候，我才知道邻居老公有了外遇。天哪,有这么漂亮的老婆竟然还会外遇。Uncle一定是一时糊涂，犯了成龙所谓的“每个男人都会犯的错”。

Uncle经常不回家，都是Aunty独自回家，也很少跟我妈聊家常了。后来，Aunty搬到外面住了，各自过各自的生活，成了熟悉的陌生人。

我家两个邻居，陆续离开这个伤心地。一个遗留下一个空空的窝，一个遗留下一个空空的屋子。

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有天，我跟我妈在公园跑步的时候，她告诉我，怎么我们家邻居跟燕子夫妇这么相像啊。这两对夫妻，到底为了什么而在一起？难道孩子不在家了，慢慢就没有共同的前景,一起前进了？两个人，因为什么而在一起？只为了喜欢在一起，而在一起？

我不懂，真的不知道耶。我怎么那么笨咧?

Father's Day! :)

Naturally woke up at 8.15am today and first thing I did was to send a SMS to my dad. 

And wished him "Happy Father's Day!". 

Last time, we didn't even celebrate it, at all. 

This is so bad, I didn't even show my gratitude towards my parents for so many years. 

Issh! Why am I so bad boy one!

Actually I wanted to write more in the SMS, but I don't hope both of us getting sad after all. 

He went out from home for work last year, right on the day before Father's Day. 

I got very emotional but still, I don't dare to call or SMS the next day.  

It was my worst father's day ever, and I believe same goes to him. 

There was time when we talked through phone, he might keep quiet for some short intervals. I felt very strange that time and don't understand why. 
But, after I did the same thing too, I understand why is it so. 

He often keep all the things to himself, which is really bad for his health. 
He's very kind, humorous and gets a little bit too skinny after these few months. 
He's a gentleman and I miss his laughter, especially when he is watching entertainment show by Jacky Wu. 

"Hahahahhaahaha!"  :)  

Let's do something positive! Let's hope! 

I hope my father won't have to celebrate father's day like this anymore in future! :) 

Happy Father's Day to All Father! You have worked out enough! 

Exam days

Just sat for Electronic Devices and Adv. Calculus finals last two days. 

Seriously Devices is really quite disastrous, especially the pi-model question. 
I don't know how to do it lah. 
So I asked lecturer and said this question is so confusing and hoping he would give me some directions. 

Ended up he said " Yes, pi-model! It's just that simple! I already simplified it. You might be able to memorize the whole book, but you won't able to do it without understanding it. Haha. "

*Heartbreak* 


So gosh, I only memorize T-model answer in text book. 
I don't even know it can be drawn in pi-model. :( 
Honestly I only know what I am doing for 3 questions out of 5 questions I did. 

Lalala! It's over! 

I have 5 days to study Digital & French after Calculus, and now left only 4 days since I wasted so many hours watching 2 episodes of Running Man and a movie. 
And I am supposed to study by now, but I am blogging here instead. 

Lalala! Perhaps I should go to library tomorrow. Alone. 
I am so not productive today. Ahh. 
._____. 

Lalala! Let's have some motivation. SEVEN days to home sweet home! *wink* 

3 combo.

These few days, my hostel authorities are being very berry annoying and mean. 

First, they locked my bicycle, because I simply parked it on basement. 
Then, an once-in-a-semester fire drill which is quite meaningless for me. 
And another first time experience. Hostel spot check. *This really.... ISH!*
All these happened in just three days, in combo. 

I "stuffed" my laptop, water heater, printer and a fan into my cupboard. 
Locked it quickly and came out with heart beat of 120. Holy crap. 
How can't they let us live peacefully? 

However had a yumcha session and talk and talk and talk until 1.30 pm. Almost break my record. ;P


Study week now! 

No more quiz / test / assignment/ mini-project/ hands-on etc etc. 
I am still slacking around and do things normally I don't have the time to do, for example, blogging that I am doing now? Hehe. 
I am that sort of person who need to be stressed to perform optimally. 
I am work better under stress, but yet I hate stress. Dilemma. 

Study week has arrived but I am not yet prepared for it.
All of sudden, I feel a little empty. 
However it is relaxing to live such care-free lifestyle, even though just a few days of the study week. 

I will grow up, some other day.

Show encrypted text

Mid sem break coming!

One more week to home! Cannot believe that time passes so fast. 

I bet those who know me very well would ask : 

" What? Choky, the super-domesticated emo boy? He said time passes quickly in university? I thought he always said time is ultra slow in university? "

Yeah, I admit I still get home sick sometimes, just not that often like last time in the first semester. I don't really know why, maybe it's because of a speech by one of my relatives, requested by my mum I guess. 

During CNY, we talked a lot about finance and his view on life. Erm, to be more exact, it's him who talked a lot. He once was a small insurance agent and he is now a successful, wealthy person. Honestly I could not digest all of his words and still not interested to sell insurance. However somehow I learnt something from his personality. 

It's just something I could not describe with words. Strange huh? 

Another reason is because I have friends now. Sorry it should be 

"I have MORE friends now!"

Thanks to them who always make me busy and that's why I could not think too much and get home sick! 

And I never know group study can be that effective! HEHE 

T Bin who is handsome, humble, and yet very smart! 

L Jin who is kind, wise and always ask me to chillax! 

K Hooi who is funny, sociable and "yellow" once in a while? 

JR who is ...  talkative and loud? Joking lah! :P

And many more! 

Going to sleep! NIGHT~!

框架

突然想起天天好天的片段，刚算了算一年爸可以回家的日子到底有多少。三个星期回去三天，平均一个星期一天。一年有五十二个星期，所以有五十二天。凑个整数，就加特别节日特假如新年等等，另加八天，合计六十天吧！

原来还少过如今就读大学的我呀！那么我与他见面的日子更不用说了。够了，不要算了。思念原来与见面的日子，是成反比的。

其实现在的心情是心疼我的老爸还是想念我的老爸，我也分不清楚了。

我觉得，一个家需要内容还有框架。好多家有漂亮的框架但里面没有东西，而我的家有个人觉得很不错的内容但暂时没有框架。不用担心，我懂得乐观。我的家正在进行大装修。我深信，那告别一段日子的框架会回来的，还会是比以前更坚固的。

“Normal is overrated.”

I forgot since when I heard a very wise words from a monk. 

He said : 

 " 感动往往都是一时的，所以要学习如何去把那一瞬间的感动变成永远。" 

Just FYI, I was crying like shiit at that time and that's why I remember it until now. In my own interpretation, I would say : 

" When you are moved by a movie, your feeling at that particular moment macam an exponentially decay graph." 

That's why I am blogging now, as I am trying to preserve that feeling. 

Just went for a movie session with friends in PUMA and watched a movie "Soul Surfer". 

It is about a girl who loves surfing so so much but lost her arm in a shark attack.

The girl is incredibly brave. When she got bitten by the shark, she didn't get panic or scream but just stay calm and do nothing. You may say she was just stunned, but I choose to interpret in another way. Who can possibly so calm when something bad strikes all of a sudden? When she woke up from coma, she asked when she can goes back to sea and surf again. If such person do really exist, she is much braver than a lion. 

“I don’t need easy.  I just need possible." 

This is what her friends in church said to her. "I don’t know why bad things happen to us sometimes but I have to believe something good is going to come out of this. I don’t know what that is. I really wish I did."

When she first gave up after some obstacles, her dad didn't want to give up on her and said : "If she gives up, she will never get back into the water and she will never be the same." 

However her mother said : "You can’t just fix everything just by shear will..".  

It made me thinks about roles of family members. There is always someone who hoped you to endure difficulties and hold on while another one who hoped you to give up and stop the pain. 

She and her family are always positive towards life, and grateful on what they have currently, like her father said : "You didn’t lose everything Bethany, not even close. That shark didn’t kill you, you’re here, you’re alive, you have your family." Her family is truly amazing. 

“When you get in the Impact Zone, get back up because you never know what’s over the next wave.” 

She lost an arm but she gets more influence than you ever imagined. 

Ming Wei ahh!

It's the first Sunday morning in Semester Two of me in USM. The first week is unusually free for me. Hope this is not the calm before the storm. Hey Chok Dong don't you dare to forget that you already promised to yourself that you going to be positive! 

Just had some chat with my sister. And some how we talked about a boy, named Ming Wei. I am not sure whether that's the correct spelling, as long it has the same pronunciation. He was sent to my house to be well taken care of, by my mum of course. 

He was so shy that he refused to call me "gor gor" when my mum asked him to and did not respond to any of my words in the beginning. He didn't even look into my eyes when talking to me. Then I kept kacau him like how I kacau my sister in a very annoying way at a constant rate. 

Acting like an elephant. 

After some effort and time spent on him, I managed to get him chasing around. My mum, my sister, him and me played catch things. Sometimes I might hide it when he does not notice. Soon he found it somewhere with my hints and got very happy.

Just FYI, I am the one who made his special necklace and fire torch! ;)

I was told that no one could communicate and interact with him, even his family members. His elder brothers do not play with him. It just needs some attention and a lot of patience to slowly understand him, and to guide him. 

Playing his favorite, angry bird!

The doctor said he's special because he could not actually communicate with others like other kids normally do. He lives in his own world and thinks in his own way. Perhaps he's just never try to understand what others think. Doctors defined him as a kid with autism. 

I said he's special because he always shows his true self. I found him very cute. My sister said he's just like me, cute but annoying! *Smile*

Poser like me! 

In the beginning, I was worried that my mum might get too tired to take care of a special kid. But in the end, I realized my mum actually found something which can distract her from thinking nonsense all the time. I know my mum might get too tired sometimes, but as long she is happy, I shall not grab away my mum's temporary happiness. At least he is cheering up my family and I appreciated that very much. Thanks ah, Ming Wei! 

祝福你，生日快乐！

今天是我妹妹的生日。

每一年的这个时候，爸爸会与妈妈讨论如何给她一个惊喜。往往都是会由一方带她到外面去，然后再由另一方匆匆忙忙地去蛋糕店买一粒蛋糕。之后回家躲在楼下的小书房，将蜡烛插在上面，手握着打火机。当听见篱笆门打开的声音，赶快将蜡烛点上，心里暗暗雀喜。正当妹妹回来走进家里的当儿，见到蛋糕上的烛光，脸上就会出现一丝微笑。接着，我们就会唱着生日歌，吃蛋糕，仪式就算是结束。

说真的，几乎每一年我与妹妹的生日都有着几乎同样的惊喜。虽然如此，我们的心还是如小孩一般，期待着父母如何给我们这么一个惊喜。

我们的反应依然就如第一次那样高兴，仿佛每一次都还是让我们感到欢喜不已。无论重复了多少次，我们都不曾说他们老土。

我的父母就是那么的可爱。

去年的今天，我们都不知道那或许是我们自小慢慢长大以来父母给的最后一个，一模一样的惊喜。

然而，今年的今天她没有蛋糕，没有蜡烛，没有惊喜，得到的是一道从电话中传出来自爸爸的祝福。她今天只是对着电脑，静静地在面子书上回复朋友留下的祝福。她什么也没说，就这样静静地度过她一年最特别的日子。但是，这份安静却让我感到，十分的伤心与难过。

或许是时候，学习适应这一刹那的无助感了。

Going back home soon!

Always wanted to conclude my university life after one semester. 

Family and loneliness. 

It is the first time I leave my home for so long. 

Sometimes I got to have my dinner alone.
The food become tasteless when I miss time when I could have dinner with family last time. 

Sometimes I got to study on my table alone.
Study life becomes pointless when I miss time when I could study in front of television despite scolding. 

Sometimes I go to toilet alone. (Hey, you no say? )
The smells can be extremely annoying when the smell of poop mixed with second-hand smoke. 

Sometimes I got too stressed and could not fall asleep. 
Time will goes by so slowly and I would wondering what would appear in their dreams while my family member are sleeping?

But you know what? I already got used to it after all. *Victory!*

Friends relationship. 

There are so many kinds of people in university. It's like a small society here. 

There are people who hang their underwear on your clothesline. *Yucks!*
There are people who do not sleep and blasting their loudspeaker. 
There are people who scream, talk loudly or quarrel during midnight.
They should get a life. Seriously. == 

Last time I hate people who approach someone when they need his/her help and dump him/her after that. 
They are just exploiting those intelligent one by using them to maximum advantage. 

However I do not hate them now and I forgive them. 
This is because I did the same things as well, sometimes but not so obvious and not so extreme la!
And I always show my gratitude by saying thank you to them and really appreciate their help for my assignment. 
Sincerely I promise I will let them to copy my assignment if I have the chance. :P

After all, I miss babi-s. They are with me for so long and they didn't dump me. They are always there, just because they are my friends. 

And lastly I would thanks those I know since form sixth. No one could understand how supportive she is and how dependable he is like I do. 

Afraid and determination. 

After I enter university, I am constantly worried about only two things, which are "this things" and "that things". *Sorry for being lame...* 

That's why I study so hard in university, so that I won't have to worry about my results. I strive for the best and leave no regret. 

I always heard seniors say that you should enjoy your university life. Unfortunately I don't really enjoy and failed to find the real way to enjoy it. Hope I will in next semester. 

C'est formidable! 

After sitting exam for so many days in a row, now I left only the last exam which is French. 
Then what's coming up next is one-month-holiday! Weee! 

Wish me good luck ! :)